One Wife or Two

An age-old controversy has become a problem in the church world once again! It is becoming prevalent in some church (religious) arenas for leaders and ministers to have more than one living wife. Not too many years ago, most major "denominations" (our word, not God’s) refused to license or ordain men with two living spouses. As American religious groups liberalized and began to veer from truth, this Bible pattern was more and more bypassed to allow men of the cloth to do as they wanted. The radio and TV airwaves are full of large "ministries" whose head men are living with 2nd and 3rd wives! What shameful behavior in the sight of God!

Can you imagine joining your pastor in prayer for his divorce court case to go well? Or maybe you would be on the wife’s side. How sticky it would get! How many men have temporarily left the ministry to handle their marital problems before returning, usually at another locale, to continue to work "for God"? Things are usually too messy to stay in the same town. It has really become a problem in the last years even among conservative groups. Allowing such things has been a BIG step toward the world’s ways of living.

The normal scenario begins with a church looking for a pastor or assistant and those divorced men who are on the second go round will not mention it unless asked. As it gets harder to get "quality" men of God, more churches are dismissing the pattern set by God’s Word just to be able to find a man to head their church body. We need a fresh look at what the scripture states so that we can follow the pattern set by God’s Word. I use the word "pattern" because we are to design our lives upon Scriptural principles and clear sayings therein.

Paul the apostle was the most clear in setting a pattern for the church leaders. He was directed by the Holy Spirit to set a "holy pattern" for the clergy and closely related men so that each local church would be guided by the best examples possible. His language is very clear in several scriptures. Let us read some of these. "A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach." (1Timothy 3:2). "Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well." (1Timothy 3:12). "If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly." (Titus 1:6). These set the pattern for the leadership. Yet Paul goes on to show that even a widow could not be cared for exclusively by the church unless she had been in a "holy patterned" marriage. "Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man…" (1Timothy 5:9). So it is clear that the church is responsible to keep marital status clean, holy, clear, special, Godly, etc. Much damage is done to future couples and the body of Christ when this Bible pattern is not followed to the letter.

The greatest argument seems to toy around with the idea that states: "If you are divorced, then remarried you only have one wife. The divorce annuls and removes any ties to the former wife." Those who use this argument believe that they are adhering to scripture by having only one spouse. Let’s look at this through several reasonings:

Joined couples can only be separated by death. The government’s permission for a divorce is not recognized in God’s eyes. Even government marriage licenses are not anything to God’s eyes. The commitment to be "one" is done in the heart before Almighty God. (It is good to get a license for the sake of others who will see the outward marriage ties.) "For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband." (Romans 7:2). Few people realize that God recognizes marriage in the heart of those who decide to join together in holy matrimony.
God hates divorce! Anything that God hates should also repulse the body of Christ. "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Mark 10:9). As we allow minor compromises with the world (such as public swimming, gossip, tobacco use, etc.) we then find ourselves compromising at the very root of society, THE FAMILY! To have more than one living wife almost always includes severe problems with estranged children, court proceedings, separated siblings, etc. No wonder God hates it! You can’t get to "number two" without doing that which God hates.
A brief look into Greek wording helps in this area. The word "one" is used in two basic manners in the New Testament. The word "one" used in the scripture, "…they two shall be one flesh" (Ephesians 5:31), is a word that is a numeral meaning "one" as opposed to "two" or "three". But the Greek word "one" in the verse, "A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife" (1Timothy 3:2), is a word that means BOTH numeral one and "first". Look at the Strong’s Concordance meaning given in this 2nd case: "mia" (#3391) irregular feminine of 1520; one or first: agree, first, one. The former "one" is just a numeral while "mia" used for the bishop is more than a numeral. This may be where the Italians got the phrase "Mama mia!"

This is an area in which those who intend to make heaven their home must stand tall and strong! While some scripture seems to allow forgiveness for those who have allowed such things in their life, the same scripture never allows them in the leadership positions. A Sunday School teacher who has been divorced cannot stand strong against it in front of a class. A supposed "man of God" cannot preach uncompromised messages from the pulpit with a tainted marital past. This teaching is not about forgiveness, it is about requirements (qualifications) for ministry! We must use the best possible men to lead and teach the Body of Christ. Let us not continue to compromise clear scripture. Oh for a move of God among the remnant that seeks to follow God’s "pattern" in all things!